Resisting My Default
I find it all too easy to convince myself that I’m stuck as I am. That I can’t change. Old dogs, new tricks and all that. However, I have seen a better way. I know I can change. I can grow―and I do those things.
I’ve done a lot of growing in the last 2 years or so. Mostly regarding emotional intelligence and related areas.
A while back I was watching the historically-accurate-in-very-broad-strokes TV show Vikings. In my extended family there are some individuals who are very into genealogy―enough so that I can trace my family lines waaaaaaay back (stay with me, I promise these things are related). After watching some of Vikings―and keeping in mind the Fugal clan hails from Scandinavia―I decided to look and see if I recognized any of the names of my Viking ancestors. Lo and behold, I can trace my family right back to Ragnar Loðbrók himself (he is the original protagonist of the show)! Now I know what you’re going to say, “But Ragnar is semi-legendary! How can you be related to a legend?” But the thing is, I don’t care 😁. It was fun to imagine, plus he’s fun & fascinating to read about.
There is a quote attributed to Ragnar that goes something like this:
“Odin gave his eye to acquire knowledge… but I would give far more.”
Turns out that idea resonates with me pretty deeply. I believe in seeking truth/knowledge/wisdom―and I would sacrifice much in that pursuit.
My views on religion/divinity/all-things-spiritual have expanded much lately. I feel like part of that change has been a sacrifice of my old, simpler, more naïve view of such things. Sometimes I mourn that sacrifice―but I wouldn’t change it even if I could.
Remember, if something hasn’t gone wrong yet, you’re not trying hard enough.
-Nate